Healthy in Paranoid Times.

I put a CD player in my car. I told the guy that my cassette deck broke and that I needed to join 1990 anyway. He just stared at me. Then he recommended the most expensive one available.

I bought the cheapest one available. It also happens to play MP3s. That's like hours upon hours of obscure songs I download off the internet while drunk. It's too much technology for me. It also came with a remote, which is just about the most retarded thing I can think of.

I told my brother I'd gotten a CD player for my car, and he said I should have also gotten a new car for my car. This is true.