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[velouria]

Since I'm moving, I've decided to purchase a normal sized person bed and have it delivered to the new place. I'm tired of trying to sleep with internet boyfriends on a tiny twin. Someone's always putting their knee through a wall or falling onto the floor in the middle the night. So I'm going to put my fun sized one in the "Free" section on Craigslist, but I need help with the ad. This is what I've got thus far:

Twin mattress/box/and metal thing. Good shape. Slightly stained, but with Cherry Coke and Mountain Dew, honest. You remove and haul away from upstairs. Not an opportunity for rape, will shoot you.

Comments

[hatchelt.livejournal.com]

you say "not an opportunity", Craigslist sees "opportunity...?...profit"

[velouria.livejournal.com]

it IS an opportunity to gain a tiny bed, just not to assault a chick. unless you want to be tasered in the nuts.

[hatchelt.livejournal.com]

i'll bet your boobs there's someone on craiglist who wants to both rape AND get tasered in the nuts. the bed would be a byproduct.

[velouria.livejournal.com]

there is? obviously i've been looking in the wrong places for a soul mate all these years.