velouria: (Default)
velouria ([personal profile] velouria) wrote2007-09-15 06:03 pm

Earth girls are easy.

Speaking as a woman on behalf of women everywhere, I feel obligated to inform young males of the planet that not one of us is impressed by you revving your engine like an asshole and peeling away in a cloud of smoke when you:

- happen to see us on the street

- happen to be sitting next to us in traffic

- happen to be within a 10 mile radius of us, period

To the contrary, it makes us throw up in our mouths and pray for your sudden fiery death. This is regardless of whether you are driving a Ford Probe or a Lamborghini, which by the way, we also don't give a shit about. Just an FYI.

[identity profile] jonn68.livejournal.com 2007-09-16 02:16 am (UTC)(link)
When they do that, it sends a very clear message.

That they have a very tiny penis.

[identity profile] velouria.livejournal.com 2007-09-16 12:44 pm (UTC)(link)
and yet another example of what only you (man) care about.

[identity profile] jonn68.livejournal.com 2007-09-16 08:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, sure. Women don't give a shit about that, but guys (especially young ones) are all about the uncalled for dickwaving.

Not that far removed from primates, after all.

[identity profile] alexeiffel.livejournal.com 2007-09-18 02:11 am (UTC)(link)
I'm told that while drunk I wanted someone to drive while I car surfed. No one would do it and my brothers girlfriend asked how I was going to do it if no one would drive. Apparently my answer was "I'll drive it... WITH MY DICK"

[identity profile] velouria.livejournal.com 2007-09-18 03:53 am (UTC)(link)
you guys and your dicks, i swear.

[identity profile] stephanieseon.livejournal.com 2007-10-25 04:36 am (UTC)(link)
I am so copying this.

You need to publish this journal. I swear to God. You'd be famous.

[identity profile] velouria.livejournal.com 2007-10-26 01:36 am (UTC)(link)
but would you buy it?

[identity profile] stephanieseon.livejournal.com 2007-10-26 04:03 am (UTC)(link)
YES. Are you kidding? You are the single funniest person I have ever encountered. You're a fuckin genius.