Off with their heads.

In the past month alone, someone has stolen both the registration sticker and the old, weathered Queen of Hearts sticker off the back of my car. The former has monetary value at least, but the latter does not.

What exactly was your motivation, jerk off? Disapproval of the monarchy system? Operation Apartment Complex Freedom? Are you the Queen of Hearts? Am I not qualified? Well, prepare to be overthrown when I catch you with my stickers. Heads will roll.