Take your protein pills and put your helmet on.

I got up out of bed for whatever reason the other day. I can't recall why. I probably had to go to school, or work, or one of those things that doesn't really warrant my getting out of bed but that I continuosly do get out of bed for.

Anyway, I got up and looked up at my calendar to see what the hell day it was. There's always some deadline I am supposed to be meeting on a certain day, but that I'm not going to. These things range from "take Top Gun back to Blockbuster" to "turn in 20 page paper on those one rats in that one maze" to "pay that one fucking doctor his 80 dollars before he sues me." to "tell jury duty people I can't be bothered to do jury duty" and etc.

So on this day, I find a different sort of message printed on the calendar. One put there by the publishers. Now on normal calendars, these sort of messages consist of "Yom Kippur" or maybe "Columbus sailed the ocean blue" or what have you. Mine says:

1908: Asteroid the size of a 10-story building breaks up and explodes over Siberia with the force of a hydrogen bomb, killing reindeer but not humans.

...

Thanks calendar.