Goody Two-Shoes.

Here's what I've done sober:

- Experience every evening, in full, ever.
- Party
- Goth Club
- Comedy Club

Here's the pros:

- Not puking in my bed
- Not waking up with contact lenses and fake bangs stuck to the side of my face
- Not dying of Cirrhosis

The cons:

A comedian at the show singled me out last night in San Francisco to ask me why I looked like he was going to rape me. A slight percentage was due to his constant jism jokes, true, but the real reason is because I was drinking Sprite and cherry syrup. Not to mention that my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend was there and I am only slightly less fat than she at the moment.

Sigh.