Aug. 28th, 2012

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It’s Jesus Guy’s birthday at work today, so he got to pick his place of luncheoning. Not shockingly, he chose Chic-fil-A. We all trudged down there and stuffed ourselves with homophobic chicken and cherry cola while discussing, what else, Jesus. I considered excusing myself to publicly makeout with the (female) cashier just on principle, but she was a little robust for my tastes. Plus she was busy exclaiming, “My pleasure!” every time some douche asked her for ranch sauce. Oh well. There’s always next time. Not.

My therapist said that I should channel my angst into something more productive, such as writing. He says every time I wish to curl up in fetal position and weep, I should instead go write in one of my many, many journals. I complained that I’d been doing that all my life, and he said I ought to figure out how to make money off it. He suggested placing Google Ads on my journals to start with. I breached this topic with The Boyfriend, who expressed a slight look of confusion.

“What would you write about?” he asked me.

“I would bitch,” I explained, “Like Dave Barry.” After inquiring as to who Dave Barry was and finding out he was a comedian, The Boyfriend replied with:

“Are you funny?”



That pissed me off so bad, I feverishly Googled Google Ads only to discover that I can’t just slap it on journal sites I don’t own. I’ll need a domain again. I let missanthropy.net expire a while back, having never done anything with it but make duck faces on my webcam.  I think I’ll get it back.

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