Some Girls are Bigger than Others.

I hate the gym. I hate that whatever sporty shirt I buy consistently rides up over my gut, which is not pretty. It's why I'm at the gym. I hate that the employees yell, "HI COLLEEN" and "BYE COLLEEN" like maniacs every time I enter and exit. Don't talk to me. Don't look at me. Do not touch me. Get away from me.

While I'm lazing about on the elliptical with my sporty shirt over my gut, my 3 roomates are at home doing the also maniacal "P90X" program. They work out like crazy people and don't eat anything but fish and water. This leaves me, the lone roley poley, to come home with my Jack in the Box and eat it in shame while they do pull-ups in the bathroom doorway. Blahsauce.