She walked in through the out door.

I was transcribing one of our public hearings at work (taking great poetic license as per usual), when I got sick of it and pulled my adorable pink gummy ear buds out of my ears and leaned as far back as I could in my chair without breaking my neck to stretch when I heard a broad I hate say:

"Can I borrow your earphones?"

It registered and I flinched. Is she serial? My gummy earbuds? They go deep into the recesses of my ears! So I said, "Huh?" about 5 times hoping she would give up and go away, but she continued to ask if she could borrow my earbuds. Euuuuuuughhhhhhh.

What choice did I have? So fighting back tears, I reluctantly handed them to her. She brought them back half an hour later mumbling, "thanks."

Douchebag. Why don't we just share dildos and intravenous needles while we're at it.