I'm writing this to say, in a gentle way:

I remember someone telling me that when they saw me online, I reminded them of Vo5 haircare products. This amused me so, but I am too retarded to remember who it was. It was probably post 4 am, thus making me velerious. That somewhat makes up for it.

I just watched Valley Girl. What the hell. Who wants that girl? She treated everyone like shit. She doesn't deserve Nicholas Cage. She deserves the blonde guy in the striped shirt. I wish I had to make the decision between a retarded blonde guy in a striped shirt who loved me, and a young Nicholas Cage.

At this point, I have the gentleman who staggers into my work each night with a 40 of Miller complaining of the paint fumes he inhales all day at his place of employment, and a guy at Blockbuster who refers to me as Colette.

Looks like I will live my life as I will undoubtedly die: alone.